From Burnout to Breakthrough: Jen Marples on Redefining Success and Embracing the 'Give No F*cks' Era

In this empowering episode, Jen Marples shares her transformative journey from a high-pressure career in PR to becoming a fierce advocate for women embracing their second act. Jen opens up about hitting rock bottom, battling burnout, and the pivotal moment that led her to completely redefine what success means.

We dive into the challenges of letting go of societal expectations, the death of the ego, and how to step into your power—no matter your age. Jen’s mantra, "You're Not Too F*cking Old," is a rallying cry for anyone who’s ever felt like time has passed them by. This conversation is a must-watch for women looking to reclaim their lives, prioritize their well-being, and live unapologetically.

Key Topics Covered:

• Jen Marples’ career journey from PR executive to women's advocate
• Recognizing and overcoming burnout
• The importance of redefining success on your own terms
• How to embrace the "Give No F*cks" era of life
• Practical steps to put yourself first and live authentically

Watch this episode to learn how to:

• Break free from the burnout cycle
• Let go of societal expectations and ego-driven success
• Embrace your true desires and step into a life of fulfillment

Don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more inspiring stories and actionable advice! Share this episode with anyone who needs a reminder that it’s never too late—or too early—to make a change.

#JenMarples #BurnoutRecovery #RedefiningSuccess #GiveNoFucks #WomenEmpowerment #PersonalGrowth #MidlifeTransformation #NeverTooOld #AuthenticLiving

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Transcript

0:00

Imagine feeling like you've checked every box on the success list, climbing the corporate ladder, building a thriving business and managing a family all while trying to keep up with society's expectations. But beneath that polished exterior there's exhaustion, burnout, and a deep sense of disconnect. What if you reached a point where you fantasized about breaking a window, just to get a break from it all. Today's conversation is about that exact moment. It's about the journey from pushing through burnout and finding the courage to rewrite your own story. We're diving into the raw and real experience of Jen marbles, a powerhouse who went from a high pressure PR career to becoming a fierce advocate for women, especially those who've been told they're too old to start something new. Jenn story is one of resilience transformation and the radical decision to put herself first, even when it felt like everything was falling apart. If you've ever felt like you're drowning in the demands of life, this episode is going to hit home. We're talking about breaking free from the ego redefining what success really means and stepping into the, give no fucks era of life, where you live boldly, unapologetically, and for yourself. Get ready to be inspired to take that step back, reassess and redefine your own version of success. You are listening to the glass ceiling and sticky floor podcast. The podcast that will empower you to shatter limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to uncover infinite possibilities. So you can live your best life. I'm Erica Rooney and I'm on a mission to bring more women into positions of power and keep them there. I'm obsessed with all things, growth and abundance. And I'm here to talk you through the tried and true secrets to get you to level up your career and your life. We talk about the hard stuff here. Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear and burnout. So pull up a seat. Popping in near bud and let's dive in.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 1:54

Jen, it's so good to see you. How are you? Welcome to the Glass Ceiling and Sticky Floor Podcast.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 2:00

Well, I am so delighted to be here. I'm honored to be a guest on your show and I can't wait to get into all the things.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 2:06

Oh my gosh. Well, for any of you watching on the YouTube, I love the hot pink. What a color,

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 2:12

It's my color.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 2:13

dive in. It's your color. It looks good on you. Tell me a little bit about yourself. What's your come up story?

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 2:19

Okay. The come up story. It's so, we all have one. I just love it because every woman has a story, even if you don't think you have a story. Ladies, we have got stories. Um, so I'll tell you what I'm doing currently and then how I got to be where I am. So right now I am Jen Marples. I've got a podcast called the Jen Marple show. And depending on when your podcast drops, I am switching the podcast name to you're not too fucking old, which is the podcast tagline. And it's my rallying cry for women. So I am a Almost mid 50 women. I turned 55 this year and I am a firm believer that life just gets better with age and we have more and more opportunity at our fingertips. And the only reason we aren't pursuing anything is because society has told us that we can't. And I'm here to say, fuck that. So you're not too fucking old is the name of the podcast. And I've got the Jen Marples agency where I help women step into the spotlight. Uh, you will find over the course of this chat and it's why we're speaking today. I am passionate. About women pursuing their dreams, stepping up into leadership, being seen, heard, and getting paid, and making the impact that they want to make. And so hallelujah, that's what we need to be. And the second thing that goes right into that is that we need to be fierce supporters of each other. Full stop. So I have keynote speeches dedicated to women supporting women. So I think that it gives you a little bit about what I'm doing today. So I, I speak, I've got my firm that helps women and I've got the podcast and I also put on a lot of events. So I love bringing women together. Was I always like this? Pretty much. It's kind of funny when we all look back. Back. We kind of, you know, we peel back the layers. I was just talking to somebody yesterday that we can really, we can see through lines in our lives, even if we end up in careers that maybe we're not super excited about. We, we still are leaning into our natural strengths. And maybe if you're not doing something, say in the nine to five, but maybe there's something in your personal life, like you're the party planner or you're the trip planner. There, there, there are certain themes that just kind of bubble up, um, over time. And so I had to go through a big process. To figure out kind of what I wanted to be when I grew up. So I was following along the rules, like we all follow, you know, I'm firmly steeped in Gen X and we were told, you know, you graduated and a lot for a lot of us, I graduated into a recession. I, you know, I was an English major, shout out to all the English majors. I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had an internship with my mom's friend who ran a PR firm and. Then I started a 25 plus year in public relations and marketing just on accident because that was my first internship. I'm like, Oh, this is cool. I'm pretty good at it. And then it led to the next job, the next job, the next job. And, um, my husband and I moved to, I'm in the San Francisco Bay area. We moved here in 2000. It was a little bit of the beginning of the end. And I had been doing food, wine, travel PR and got sucked into tech. And I was soul sucking and I hated every minute of it. And, um, I experienced something that I'd never experienced before, which was a layoff. And, um, it was people, it was, it was the beginning of the tech bust. So we had lost multi million dollar clients. And, you know, when do we, I went into work and boom, 25 people were laid off. I, a lot of you will relate to this story if you've been around the block. I was like, wait, what? But I'm so awesome. You're going to fire me. Um, but yeah, we all know it has nothing to do with us. It was just the numbers and boom, there you are. And so I became kind of this accidental entrepreneur. I had lunch with a friend and she's like, I want you to meet my friend who has a wine business. And literally based on that lunch, I was like, Oh, I could do your PR for you. And I started my company. So I started my first company, which was a PR firm in San Francisco, which I ran for 12 years by accident. And so I have been an entrepreneur now for well over 20 years. Um, and it was really great. It was great until It wasn't. And that was only because at the height of everything, I was also popping out kids. So I like to joke that as my company was growing, so was my waistline. And so we had an office in downtown San Francisco. We had really big clients like Whole Foods and Constellation Brands. It was doing crisis communications, like pretty heady work and being a business owner and being responsible for people. And then squeezing out my own little people and, you know, still, you know, Living that, sort of that lie that we know now that women can do it all and have it all. And it's really near impossible to do things all really well at the same time. And I'm sure, Ericka, you know that, your listeners know that. So, I was kind of like, well, you know, I, I'm the one failing if I can't somehow manage having a child. And then here's like, you know, ba dump bump, I had my son and then two years later I had twins. So I'm living at the corner of Haight and Ashbury in San Francisco, now with three babies, like basically three kids in diapers. My husband's an entrepreneur. I'm running this business, Crisis Communications. It's always on. Every buddy was counting on me. Everybody. And I was drowning, but I didn't know it. I didn't pay attention to it. And so the, the sort of the, the, laying on the ground, dying floor story here is one day I was walking into my kitchen in the city, which I just, I looked around and I was like, death, death, death. We all know with little kids, I'm like, they're going to jump out a window. They're going to electrocute themselves. But I was looking at one of these big windows. And I was fantasizing about punching it out simply so I could have a break and I could go to the hospital and just have people take care of me and have everybody leave me alone. And I know probably most of your listeners, if you have kids, can relate to this at some point in time. Because we weren't given really the rule book. It was just. Go have your babies and everything is meant to stay the same. Like you're going to keep firing on the same level and you just can't. And I had also gone through fertility, so that was like a year prior. I had miscarriages and then having twins was a high risk pregnancy. I was fine. I never had bed rest or anything like that, but it takes, pregnancies actually take a toll on your body and we need to actually take time off, which I never did. So that fantasy Of, you know, smashing the window was true. And what really truly stopped me, this is like not bullshit at all. What stopped me was like, Oh, they're probably going to put me on some type of a psych hold. And I might actually lose my kids. Women just shouldn't go punching out windows. But that's how tired I was and so desperate I was for time alone. And any, all my friends back in the day who knew me, I used to vibrate from the stress. I couldn't calm down. I couldn't stop. Every moment of every day was like keeping this like shaky house of cards together. So if you stop that momentum, like it was all gonna crumble. And like, so during this time, so that didn't stop me, I, no changes were made. The only thing I did do, I was, so that happened. Weeks later, somebody left the agency and then I was dealing with small business owner things and needing to hire somebody and working into midnight. My husband's like, you got to go to bed because, you know, the day starts at six o'clock in the morning. I'm like, I can't, I can't, like all this stuff has to get done. You're just making it hard, like go away. But I was having heart palpitations. My body was starting to freak out on me. I was having heart palpitations. I would wake up with my, uh, fists clenched because I'd be, and I'd be grinding my teeth at night. I cracked through four crowns because of the stress, but all the while thinking there's something wrong with me that I couldn't keep it all together. Like, what? Why can't I have these three kids? And by the way, with no family support nearby, we're living in the city. We have one car that we parked down the street in a rented garage because the condo that we owned did not have parking. And, you know, in retrospect, you know, what a crazy shit show that was, but we didn't, there wasn't any time to step outside of my life. and go, what, this is, this is a crazy shit show. We need to make some changes. So I give that woman compassion. But I was sitting there this one night and I'm like, you know, what do I need to do to reduce stress? So instead of like signing up for yin yoga or taking a vacation, I signed up for a bootcamp. So I ended up doing a bootcamp four days a week in San Francisco and running around like up and down hills with, uh, you know, eight pound medicine balls. So I just, fried myself because that's all I knew what to do. I was like, Oh, exercise. That's going to de stress me. But I was so fried. I had like adrenal fatigue and side note, I had hemorrhaged after I had my girl's 10 days postpartum. So this was all this stuff that I kept trudging through, trudging through, like, cause that's what we were taught to do. And so we finally did, you know, I kept on going. I was having these health problems, not super aware. And we finally made the decision to move across the bridges, kind of into the suburbs, like leave the city, but I still had the company. I still had the stress. I still had the children. We weren't living in the city anymore. But that was the only thing that really changed. And then one day, fast forwarding a couple of years. My husband looked at me because all my clients were getting the best of me and my family was getting the absolute worst. I'm yelling and screaming at the kids to go to bed. It makes me very emotional even thinking about it right now. And I know so many of you listening can relate. You're like, I have so much work to do. You've gotta go, you remember that book, Go the Fuck to Sleep? Like, you guys just have to go the fuck to sleep! Cause I'm gonna die, I'm gonna be up till midnight, and then we get to lather, rinse, repeat, and do this all over again, waking up at six o'clock to get the kids out the door, and do the thing, and do the thing, and do all the things. And so my husband's like, You got to make a change. And I was also, and this is a whole other conversation. Like I'm turning into my father who that's how we dealt with everything. Just yelling and screaming. I fought hard to get those babies. I love my children. They're grown teens. I've got, my son is about to leave for college in a week. Don't get me started on that. But he's like, my husband was like, you've got to make a change. Cause I couldn't see it. Yelling and I was blowing up the family and I was so fried and so tired. I didn't have any tools. I had nothing. And so to make a long story short, I started then, um, I made the commitment. I'm like, all right, I'm going to wind down the business. And so over the course of the next year, I let, you know, client contracts, you know, I didn't renew them. If a new business came in, I referred them and then just sort of wrapped everything up. But by the time I was at my last sort of client engagement was, which was all on paper, beautiful. It was a five star resort in Hawaii. I did a project with a friend, we're like, let's go do this hotel's 50th anniversary. I was taking, uh, anxiety pills. And freaking out over itineraries, making sure, you know, the media were going to make their, you know, 7 a. m. sup yoga class. And my friend, a dear friend of mine looked at me and she's like, Jen, Jesus Christ, like, you got to figure this out. Because it wasn't normal behavior, because I was so fried. So that was the ending. And when you let something go, Erica, and you pause, It's so uncomfortable. So you're left with you. I'd always worked. And by the way, I made a lot of money. I was responsible for all these people. We have three kids living in Marin County, California, which is not cheap. Thankfully we had, we had sold our condo in the city. So we had a little bit of a nest egg and we'd have a lot more money now if I didn't rely on that and take that time off work. I'm very transparent about that. And I was lucky enough to be able to do that. But I was, I was a shell of my, what you see now. If we would have had this conversation, I would have needed a three hour nap. So all my pistons were fried. And what I know now too, as I was going through perimenopause, so this was like my mid forties. So perimenopause, having a huge crisis of what the fuck am I going to do with my life now if I'm not Jen Marples running my PR firm doing crisis communications. And so I was left with me. And so it was really, I was truly on the floor, truly, like metaphorically and truly on the floor. I could not get out of bed and I was so depleted. I almost blew up my marriage. I was, but, but I was also counseling friends through their divorces and all their crises as I was going through my own crisis. And I just, I needed all the help and support. I remember I was talking to my therapist. She's like, Jen, apart from you talking to me, who's listening to you? And I was like, Oh, nobody, I'm trying to help somebody get a job right now. And I'm trying to help somebody through a divorce. So it was this whole unraveling. And I call it the era of like putting Humpty back together again. And I just interviewed Chip Conley. And we talked about this theory of the Chrysalis and my, um, a therapist who told me this, and this is for all listening. It's a very, it's a really important place to be, especially if things aren't going your life. And women, So many women experience burnout because we give, give, give, give, give, give, and we put ourselves dead last. That you have to be okay to be in the discomfort because only then will you be able to sort of rebuild. And I had to, I had to do something I'd never done, which was a nurture myself, take time for myself. And that was my main job. It wasn't working and producing. Of course, you know, I'm not like, I still have three kids, so there was still so much shit going on, mind you. Um, but I had to give myself that time and be okay being in the muck. And what happens when you make these big changes, too, it's really the death of the ego. And you're like, you realize how much is wrapped up in work and career and how people perceive you. So then, you know, it took about two years and so, you know, I still got the kids. And because I'm not a girl to completely do nothing, I was helping my husband on the side. He's got his own real estate, um, brokerage and I was helping him with marketing. And, but that quickly kind of fizzled because we can't work together. We figured that out pretty quickly. We were like, no, we want to stay married. Um, but he has volunteering and doing some other things at the school. So I wasn't, you know, sitting on the couch eating bonbons, but my priority was like doing all the things I needed to do, address my health issues, get back into therapy and do all the stuff I needed to do. So then slowly You feel better. You come back to yourself. And then that led me to coaching training. Ended up taking yoga teacher training just because I love yoga. I don't teach yoga or do anything like that now, but that sort of put me on this path to what I'm doing now. And that was, that was quite a long process. It was many, many years. I was actually just counting the years this morning. It's been about, I'm going to say about eight or nine years since I started this new path and, you know, things crystallized. So a lot of what I work with women now, you know, apart from the agency is helping them. Understand that you don't just sit down to make a change and start journaling. Jesus himself is not going to come down and tell you what's next in one sitting. It takes time. It takes people. We've got to lean on friends. We've got to lean on professionals and understand and realize that you've got to put yourself first because I am the first person to tell you I was dead last on that list for a very, very long time. So that's sort of the, Cliff's Notes version, Erica.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 17:09

I mean, girl, all of that hits so deep because I went through a very similar story where it was like, go, go, go chase success, do all of the things, check all of the boxes. And like you said, I'm yelling at my kids. I'm yelling at my husband. I'm burnt out. I'm wound up. I mean, I turned to wine, which was not good because it was like, that was the only thing that would shut down my brain. And like you talked about vibrating from the stress, that was the only thing that didn't. Calm me down. Here's my question for you though. You know, your husband said you got to make a change. Mine did the same thing. I ignored him, you know, because it's so it's like, no, no, you don't know what you're talking about. And then I kept going. So when your husband sat you down and said, Jen, you've got to make a change. Did you listen to him right away? Or did it take more time? Yes.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 18:01

it's funny because You know, it's very supportive, even, and then, but in this change, in which is interesting. So I did, I, you know, it's, it's kind of funny because so much of it is a blur. There's like the big traumatic, dramatic things I remember. And, but what's interesting is I have a supportive husband. We're still married. We've been married 27 years. Um, of course, there's always ups and downs, but when you are in a relationship where things have kind of gone the same way, and even though you've got somebody supporting you, when you make that change, they've also got to be ready for the changes. And so. It was really tough and, you know, I was doing everything. Astrology, a naturopath, going to my OBGYN to figure out, Oh, you're in, you're in perimenopause. And then you're like hemorrhaging, bleeding and this and that. That's a whole other thing. Um, yoga retreats, like anything I could do. But then he started going, so when are, then it started popping up. It was like two years. So when are you going to actually start making money again? So, um, It's like, oh, you know, cause you know, and when we met, like our whole relationship was me, hard charging, driving. I've made my, I've been working since I was like in high school. So for me not to be, um, you know, compensated, but of course, and this is a whole other discussion about all the unpaid labor that women do. And we don't, we don't have the time to talk about that today. So I'd have some serious discussions about that. And those are discussions we're still having because we, I don't know how old your kids are, but like when, especially getting a kid off to college, that was a second full time job. I happily took it on, but like women are the most likely in most instances, the default parents. You do take a lot of stuff on. Um, but it did impact our relationship. So when one person in relationship is going through a crisis and unraveling, like I was not fun to be around. I was not fun to be around. I was, remember I was at a dinner party with some dear, dear friends and the, our husbands were friends and he actually told, and I was like, this was kind of an asshole move and I don't even know what, on that of my husband's part, he shouldn't have told me this. But the other husband was like, yeah, I don't, you know, Jen's like a total bummer. Like we just don't want you, literally something to the effect, like we don't want you guys to come over anymore or something like that. I'm like, like people love me. But I was not, I was not happy. To be around. I was just not, I was, I was like sick, like I was depleted. I didn't know, I hated everything. I thought it was where we lived, it was our house, it was, it was this, it was my husband, it was, it was everything. It was everybody outside of me's fault of why I was, feeling the way it was. But it was I, it had to start with me. It was nobody's fault. But part of that was, you know, I grew up in Hawaii. I really wanted to move to Hawaii. My husband's business is fully steeped here. I thought that was going to be the answer and make me happy. And so we got to this big blow up where he's like, okay, you go then, but the kids will stay here with me. And I was like, what? So we had to go to marriage counseling and all this. So it's really none of this. All this shit is really hard. When you're dealing in a partnership, so it's not like, Oh, I went to, you know, a yoga retreat and I figured it all out. No, like things, old ways of being were blown up and old kind of how the way we were dealing with each other, like a lot of that stuff was blowing up. And then, you know, that all, and then it coincided with us being married for 20 years. And so that's a real, it's an inflection point. Your kids are getting older. So it took a lot. To get to sort of this place and you know, like it's, it's a work in progress, like we're always working, always refining, always checking in, but it's like, be careful what you ask for your spouse because then it's, there is a whole dynamic shift. And it was a big shift for me. It is. It's a huge thing to walk away from money and we attach our value to money. And so that's, that's all that. It's a whole other conversation, but so. My advice to everyone would be just to don't be afraid to make these changes, but don't stew inside your head and think that your partner knows what's going on. You have to constantly sit with, I like to joke, like guys can barely figure out what to get you for your birthday. Like they are not going to know what's going on in your head about your hopes and dreams and your parenting fears and your career fears and being a woman in business. They're not going to know any of that unless you tell them. I had to sit the kids.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 22:27

I was just going to say 1 thing too, that I know when I was going through my big burnout and hitting the wall was so often your partner sees that something has to change, but it's that domino effect and they don't recognize and nobody knows what all of those dominoes falling. Is going to look like right? Is it leaving your career? Is it moving? Is it changing all of these different dynamics and you don't have any idea of what that could be until the dominoes start to fall. So, unless you have that communication going with your partner, like you're talking about. It could totally destroy it if you're not careful,

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 23:06

I'm glad you brought that up. Cause yeah, you don't know. Cause when you change one thing, yeah, it's like that domino effect and things are going to get put in motion. And my PSA is get a marriage counselor, go to therapy because you, you know, you think, and I'll be really transparent. Like that 20 year mark, going through all the stuff I was going through, it was, It was brutal. And I am like, is this the end? Like, are we getting divorced? Like it was, it was very tenuous there for one. I think there's that something with the 20 year mark to in a marriage and a relationship that just a lot of stuff and your midlife and kids. And there's just a lot of stuff. There's pressures, all the stuff that goes on, but you know, How to just recommit to each other.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 23:51

but let's talk about that. Right? Like marriage today is so different from marriage way back when it was just like Betty Crocker homemaker. And that mom just went along with all the dreams and the changes and the things that the husband wanted to do. The moms these days don't do that. So unless you are going to therapy, having those conversations, like my mother always used to say that In a marriage, you either grow together or you grow apart. And if you don't continue that communication, you are going to go in separate directions.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 24:24

Oh my gosh, what your mom, that's such wise advice. And so you've got to just, you know, realize you've got to commit to each other. And I, you know, we all, we get, we stand in our little, he doesn't understand me. And then they're like, well, she doesn't understand me. And you can see, I mean, it's clinical, like when the therapist just. It was like, what is it, the, um, Four Horsemen of the Marriage Apocalypse or something. I can't remember the, it's the very famous couples, um, therapist, it will come to, the name will come to me. But they laid it out. It's like, oh, this is exactly how we're behaving. So it's kind of like you, you get firm in your thing. Well, he doesn't get me. Well, she didn't. And then you get farther and farther and farther apart. So it's like, it's like. That whole adage, you know, could you want to be right or do you want to be in a relationship? And so understanding and fighting for what you have. And it is, it is hard when you're, everyone's got financial pressure, you've got all the stuff with the kids and God willing, all your kids are healthy. And I know we've got, you know, friends with kids with special needs or this or that. I mean, there's just, there's a lot of life lifing. And so. And I'm at a transitional place where my son is about to go off to college, my girls are going to be juniors in high school, and then they're going to be leaving. And then, oh, wow. Oh, it's going to be just us again. So like, how do, how do we want that to look? And you know, we get to design our lives, you know, and everyone's at these inflection points when you hit midlife, especially because. Like, we don't, we don't have to live in this house anymore. You don't have to be in the school district. Like, all these, all these different things open up and like, you brought up with say our parents generation, like my parents are in the, still in the same house that I grew up in. I mean, I'm glad I get to go visit, fine, but we, there's no rule, like why, why can't we all just go live in New York now and like live in the city and go see the theater and start 20 businesses. I mean, we can do whatever we want, um, and hopefully want to do that, you know, together. And it's. Everything needs tune ups, right? So of course marriages need tune ups. And people, I remember reading this article since we're on this topic, and they interviewed people who've been married like 40, 50 plus years of like what the secret to success was. And it was each of them, each person in the relationship being independent and having their own shit. So their own jobs, their own hobbies, all that kind of thing. Having their own friends, going on their own sort of trips, like it's the guy's fishing trip or just an alone hiking thing. Women do that. And you're also doing things together. So your spouse is not responsible for your happiness. They can increase your happiness. But your partner, you can't put all that pressure on your partner to be your best friend and like to be your travel person and this, this, that, and the other. Like, no. I mean, it's great if you do things together, but if I think of my husband as like, that's the whole reason for

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 27:04

You're everything. Yes.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 27:06

that's too much pressure for any one person. And even in the flip side for our partners to think that about us, it's like everybody needs to have their own friends and their own things that light them up. Couples don't have to do everything together.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 27:18

No. And like, take it back. That's what it was when you were dating. You know, you had separate lives, separate friends, separate everything. And like, that was some of the best times,

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 27:29

100%. So yeah, keep it fresh and keep it real. And so my husband said something funny a couple of weeks ago, because you know, manifesting the future and you know, I've got big goals and I'm going to go speak on, I'm not going to say I will, I am going to be speaking in big stages and traveling. And that's something that will really open up for all of us who are looking at the empty nest, if you will, or being, becoming free birds is, you know, we can plan trips. And then go there for a work thing and then pop over there to see that kid and do that. I'm like, instead of having the other narrative, which is sitting in your house and going by your kid's bedrooms and crying because they're not there. I mean, for sure, I'm going to be crying a lot this fall after I take my son away. But whip it up, mix it up, you know? And this is why women, you know, everyone listening, this is why we get so much of our time back as our kids get older. And really the world's our oyster, because all of a sudden, and you start to feel it when they start driving, and then you can actually make, have them run errands for you, which is great. I'm like, girls, you want to have that for dinner? Go ahead and go buy it and make it too. That'd be great. Thanks. Um, and then they're going to be gone. And then you've got all this time. And I feel younger today than I did, you know, back in the time when I was telling you about I felt like an old ass broken woman, broken down woman at like 42 years old, because I

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 28:48

you're never too fucking old.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 28:51

I think we age backwards when we

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 28:53

Oh my, right. When you get them kids out of the house.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 28:57

and we start when I interviewed Chip. It's funny because he knows a lot of this data that he was sharing about our happiness. It really kind of dips in our forties. And I know all I know too about menopause and all of that. Like there's a lot of hormonal stuff that goes on. It's kind of peak earning peak. Our kids are like getting them ready to launch. And then it dips back up. When we're kind of coming out of that curve of, you know, sending the kids out and then it just gets better and better. They said even, he said even the research is showing even for women like we can be our happiest. I

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 29:30

Oh my god, I believe that. I do. I think that, like, I look at my parents and like, they get to play with my kids and have fun and then they hand them back and then they go out to dinner and they travel. I mean, I'm so freaking lewdly.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 29:45

have to tell you this story. So I was just in Hawaii visiting my family and my mom is 78, both my parents are 78. My dad has had some health problems last year. My mom has not had anything going on and she had a heart attack in February, which took everybody by surprise and she's fine. And she's back working in a week. So she works, she's, she's, um, a partner in a real estate company in Hawaii. And I was going in to, I was going to use their office to do, have my client meetings while I was there. And I was just standing. A far or in the back of the office, and I was looking at my mom chatting with her, um, her colleague, who's probably closer in age to me. And I was like, God, my mom is ageless, timeless because just this youthful spirit. She loves to mentor the younger agent. She still has tons of clients. She's like, I'm not, I'm not stopping until like, Somebody makes me stop. And it's really the youth comes from within and she's glowing and has more life in her than I can see in people in their thirties. And I think that a lot of that comes with age, but we did, you know, it's funny. I, um, I was doing summer reruns and my mom was on my podcast. And so as re I reran that one, I'm crying in the car, listening to it again. And she was, you know, explaining, of course, like all our moms, like what they had to do and. kind of push through to get us to be where we are today with all these opportunities. And it's interesting to look at what, you know, the barriers that they had to break through and how in some ways things were really hard, a lot harder for them, but in other ways, things were a lot easier. I think we just have more. She, she looks from a boomer generation down to us going, we just have so much to navigate because they were more, we were mostly, they were mostly hands off with us. Like we figured it out. We were like out playing to like, you know,

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 31:32

in the creek. Who knew what was going on?

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 31:35

Who knew? Like, packed a bag on a Friday, showed up back home on Sunday. Like, no one knew what the hell was going on. And so, like, just all these expectations are higher, but it was just this lovely conversation. We can learn so much from the women who came before us. And so, I'm really passionate, too, about even talking to the younger women. So, any time, like, my girls and their friends are around, they're like, Mom, are you going to get into a women's empowerment thing? I'm like, yeah. Yes. And I'm just going to explain how we can do things better. And so, you know, I'm really just a big fan of having conversations with, you know, people up and down the age range. Cause we all learn from each other and age is like, what is age anyway? It's just a physical number. It really doesn't mean. anything. And, um, I just, you know, it's like, I want to be with like my mom when I grow up. Yeah. I want to, I want to still be doing the thing, traveling. She's cooking for all of us every night, working. They're going to get on a plane and travel to see my brother in like two weeks and it ain't over till it's over.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 32:33

I love that. I love that so much. One question I did want to ask you, I'm going to bring it all the way back to the beginning, because you mentioned the death of the ego. And I think that is something that is so incredibly hard for people to let go of myself included, right? Because we pride ourselves on the work that we put into things and the effort and the titles and the house. How did you let go of that? How did you let that ego die so that you could now become this whole new woman?

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 33:02

So the ego is trapped, you know, it's what was the thing. So I think we spend like our twenties and thirties sort of acquiring wisdom and it's all based on the ego, right? It's just checking things off the box. We're climbing the ladder. We're doing things for us. And then something switches kind of. at this halfway point in their life where now you want to do things that have meaning and passion and it's more about service and giving back. Not, not to say that you're not working and making money and all of that, but it's a big shift in perspective and also realizing that the ego is a big trap. So if you do things because of how Everything looks on the outside, right? So, Oh, I look, I'm just professional and I've got it all buttoned up and the house and the cars and the kids and the this and that. And we've just

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 33:48

together.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 33:49

all of it. And we've been programmed to want those things. But what we, a lot of us find out is that we're either burned out. It doesn't make us happy. What we've been told makes us happy. Doesn't. And so. For me, you know, midlife and I, I, cause I talked to so many women and read so much and see so much that it's this inflection point. And so I firmly believe we reach a point where we can no longer, we cannot be living lives for other people. We have to be true to ourselves. And it doesn't mean like walking away from your career, whatever it could be making tweaks. It could be deciding, Hey, well, I'm in X, Y, or Z. I really want to go mentor women. Like I want to go do that thing. I have a friend in a really big company and she actually hired me to give a keynote at this women in leadership conference. But that was something that they put together because she wanted to do something to give back and do something more that was just her sales job. And so there's so many different ways we can come back to us, but it's really about coming back to who you are. And figure out what you want. And it's really hard to do that if you haven't ever taken stock, but once you do, it's like, you know, it's kind of like, you're not too fucking old, but we get into this kind of give no fucks era of. And this is what I teach my, the women who are in my current mastermind. It's like the more you, you are, the more your people are going to come to you. And I know historically for all of us who've, you know, been in the corporate world, even when I had my PR from an entrepreneur, I had these big corporate clients. So I still felt like I was in that corporate world that, you know, we're playing by different rules and you know, everyone, does everyone remember ballet slippers, nail polish and like the shoulder pads. And I had my first like PR and marketing job in Hawaii, I had to wear pantyhose. And Hawaii, you know, it's like 100 percent humidity wearing pantyhose. Like we've all had to, we've all been put in these little boxes. And I think when you can get rid of the ego, it's getting rid of that societal expectation and just starting to do things because you want to do them and being solid and secure and what you have to offer, which by the way, you have a ton to offer because women, we tend to discount. Everything we've got, you know, I mean, myself included, when I first started this till I started doing the work, well, you know, maybe I need one more training or women are like one more PhD, one more seminar before I can do something. No, the guys are out there like, I got one quality, I'm going to go sell it. I'm going to go make a lot of money. Women are like, I need 25 things. No, you don't. You want to go speak, you want to start something, you want to start leadership within your organization. There's so many, I, because I have so many women to work with too, are inside big organizations. There are ways you can make your stamp and expand within your organization. Actually, somebody I just interviewed, it's how she ended up pivoting, she was in the, Hospitality realm big or meetings and conventions. So I want to speak and do that thing. And so she started doing that for years within her organization and leading trainings, like in addition to her role. And then she finally exited. And now all she does is speak to corporations. So there's. Lots of ways to go at it, but when you get rid of the ego and you give yourself permission to do things that light you up and bring you joy, it could take, it's going to take you on a path that you have no idea that you would ever be on. Did I think I was going to have a podcast? Was I, did I ever think keynote speaking a couple of years ago? So anything's possible and it's just by taking, taking that one step towards something that you like. So, that's like my biggest piece of advice, is really to get quiet with yourself, give yourself the gift of time, because I know if you're listening, and you're working, and you've got kids, there's the hamster wheel, there's that whole joke of like, moms have the best time like sitting in the cars in the garage alone. You know, then do it, do it. Take that 10 minutes if you need to and start getting used to being alone with your thoughts and then things are going to start bubbling up because deep down inside, you kind of already know maybe something you want to do. You just got to listen. Give yourself permission to listen.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 37:55

Yes. And then I'm going to add one more step for you on that, which is to get into your give no fucks era. Cause I love that. Oh my gosh. Well, Jen, I always ask everyone on my podcast, if you could go all the way back to the Jen who's staring at that window, imagining punching it through so she can just get a frickin break. What piece of advice would you give her today?

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 38:19

Oh, you're going to make me cry. Jen, walk away from the window. You're doing the best that you can and just keep going.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 38:31

And it's that simple. I love it. It's that simple.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 38:35

You just got me emotional.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 38:37

I know. Well, that's good. That's what we're, we're here to get real and raw and talk about the hard stuff, you know, because there is some woman out there right now who's looking at that window. So that's why I say like, it's so important to share these stories and to be open about it because back then, how helpful would it have been for you to know that and to hear somebody else say that?

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 38:57

100 percent I would add this is get help.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 39:01

Yes. Yes. Have a therapist on tap.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 39:05

And if you can't do a therapist, you've got to, you've got to verbalize that. You've got to find one trusting friend and share that because once you speak it out, it's less crazy. And that, I didn't do that for a long time because I was afraid to be seen as weak. Like I didn't have it all together. And this was a long time. I know things have changed. And that's why I'm so passionate about my work, because there really wasn't a lot of support almost 20 years ago for young moms. It was like, eh, just go do your thing and be

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 39:33

Figure it out. Yeah.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 39:35

keeping on boards and keep running that business and, you know, look great and, oh, you're married, you know, just keep doing, doing, doing. Thankfully, now with the work you're doing, I'm doing, we're demystifying this and it's like you can't do everything at once and redefine what success looks like for you, because only you can do that. Don't do anything because you think it's going to look good for somebody else. Cause guess what? Who gives a shit? Like who gives a shit what they think? They're not thinking about you. And that's just, it's not a good way to live your life. So live your life for you.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 40:05

Hmm. I love that. And Jen, when somebody is like, Oh my gosh, all of this is resonating with me. Where can they find you? How can they work with you? I know I've got your newsletter, which I'm linking in the show notes, but tell me all the things.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 40:18

So all the things, so you can listen to the podcast. Um, depending on when this drops, it's either the Jen Marples show, you're not too fucking old, but I am Jen Marples everywhere. YouTube, Tik TOK, Instagram, LinkedIn. So it's just at J E N M A R P L E S. Send me a DM if you have a question and then listen to my podcast too. I bring on great guests and we talk about this, we talk about work, we talk about life, we talk about, talk about everything. So I love podcasts. Thank you for having your podcast because we're busy ladies and I love that a podcast just gets to go with you as you're living your life. And that is really, that is one really great resource. You should be listening to all Erica's podcasts because They're free and they're, they're transformative. They helped

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 41:03

Pop in that earbud and just go. Yes. And remember

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 41:06

go,

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 41:07

you're never too fucking old.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 41:09

you're not too fucking old to make any change. And if you feel like you're, or you're not too fucking young, depending on your age. So we get told something at some point, we're never perfect in the eyes of society. So just fucking go for it. I mean,

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 41:23

You're too fucking young. You're too fucking old. What is it?

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 41:27

we've all had, you're like in a meeting, like, Oh, you're too young. And then all of a sudden you're too old. So it's just a bunch of bullshit. So don't believe the hype.

erica_1_08-09-2024_142436: 41:35

Oh my gosh. Well, Jen, thank you so much. This was so fun.

jen_1_08-09-2024_112436: 41:38

Thank you for having me as honored to be on the show.

41:43

All right before I leave you today, I want you to reflect on the key messages Jen shared with us today. It's even recognizing when you've hit your limit, giving yourself permission to pause and understanding that it's okay to redefine success on your own terms. Jen's journey is a Testament to the power of saying no to society's expectations, any yes. To your own wellbeing and happiness. Remember, it's never too late or too early to make a change. Whether you're starting. Whether you're steering down burnout or just feeling a little lost, know that you have the power to rewrite your story. It's time to step into the, give no fucks era where you live life for you and only you. So thank you for listening today. I hope that Jen story inspired you to take that brave step towards living more authentically. Keep these conversations going. I'll share this episode and this podcast with anyone who needs to hear it. And most importantly, keep putting yourself first. One last request, though, if you have not rate, reviewed and subscribed to the podcast. Please make sure you do it as it helps it land into the hands of the woman that needs to hear it the most. And until next time, remember the only ceilings that exist are the ones we place over ourselves. Let's smash them together.