From Couch Potato to Queen: The Science of Motivation (Even When You’re Burned Out)

Ever feel like ripping off your bra, crawling into your comfiest sweats, and disappearing into a bag of chips and low-effort Netflix? Same, friend. In this solo episode, Erica Rooney gets radically real about what it’s like to completely lose your motivation—and how to get it back using science, not shame.

You’ll learn: 

🔥 Why motivation isn’t a feeling—it’s a dopamine-driven process
🔥 How to spark action before the motivation kicks in
🔥 The top 3 motivation killers for high-achieving women (yes, burnout and perfectionism, we’re looking at you)
🔥 The tiny tools that help you shift from stuck to unstoppable
🔥 Why your environment and expectations might be draining your drive—and how to fix it fast

Whether you’re curled up in overwhelm or simply stuck in the sticky floor of “blah,” this episode is your call to reclaim momentum, one micro action at a time. You're not lazy. You're not broken. You're just one small step away from getting sh*t done. Let's go.

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Transcript

Erica - 00:00:00:

Hey, friend, we are going to get real real right out the gate today. And I've got a confession. I have not been feeling motivated, like not in the least bit, not at all. And if I'm being honest with you, I've wanted to cancel everything on my calendar, put on sweatpants, rip the bra off, right? And just disappear into a bag of chips and some real low effort Netflix. Okay. Now, in the past, that would really, really stress me out. It would make me feel really guilty, really uncomfortable, really anxious. And I was always thinking, like, what's wrong with me? Why can't I get it together? You know, I'm ambitious. I am driven. I don't have time to not have motivation. So what in the world? And if you've been there or if you are there right now, this episode is for you. Because here's what I've learned. Motivation is not magic. It's science. And if you are simply just waiting around for motivation to strike or to find you, you're going to stay stuck. Now, today we are unpacking why you don't feel motivated. We're going to talk about the neuroscience behind it and how to kickstart momentum, even when you feel, huh, even when you feel burned out, or even when you feel like a full ass couch potato. No fluff, no toxic positivity, just the truth, the tools, and the next steps that you need. 3, 2, 1. Welcome to the Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors podcast, the podcast where we get real about the challenges women face in work, life, and leadership. I'm your host, Erica Rooney, HR executive, keynote speaker, and executive coach, and I'm on a mission to get more women into positions of power and keep them there. This is the space where we call out the paradoxes, being told to lean in but not too far, to speak up but not too loudly, be ambitious but not too ambitious. Does that sound familiar? Yeah, we're over all that. Here, we break down the sticky floors that keep us stuck, from imposter syndrome and perfectionism to burnout and fear, and give you real strategies to shatter those glass ceilings once and for all. So if you're ready to rewrite the rules, own your power and take your career and life to the next level, you're in the right place. All right, let's start with the facts, y'all. Motivation, it's not a personality trait. It is actually a dynamic psychological and physiological process. And guess who's running the show? It ain't you. It's dopamine. And dopamine is that brain chemical that is most tied to motivation. That's the chemical that activates your reward system. And it says like, hey, that thing over there, it might feel good. Go after it. Go get it, right? But here's where it gets a little wild. The dopamine surge happens before the reward. So it's actually the anticipation that drives you to act. So if your brain isn't convinced that something is worth the effort, or if you're too tired to imagine it, you're not going to feel motivated, period, dot, the end. This reward pathway, it includes what is called the ventral tegmental area. And y'all, I don't even know if I'm saying that right, okay? But the nucleus accumbens and the prefrontal cortex, so all three of those, are responsible for pleasure, for goal-setting, and for memory, which means that your brain is literally wired to want to want things. Does that make sense? To want to want things. But if you're burned out, if you're overwhelmed, if you're stuck in the sticky floor of perfectionism, that wiring short circuits and your brain kind of goes into this why bother with it mode. And that's where I'm living right now. Okay, that brings us to the myth that myself and many of us have all internalized. And that is the myth that motivation comes before action. The truth is, is that action comes first. And that is called behavioral activation. That is actually a proven therapeutic tool that shows that even when you take like the tiniest of steps, guys, it can spark your motivation, not the other way around. So you know this. If you're waiting to feel motivated before you take action, it's never going to happen. You're putting the cart before the dopamine, literally. So to bring this home. Why is it so hard for us, for high achievers, the go-getters, the... Women who are out there doing it all. And y'all, there's three reasons, okay? The first is burnout and decision fatigue. We are constantly making decisions for our teams, for our families. We're making decisions about our calendars, what we're gonna eat tonight. And that drains away your cognitive energy. And if you don't have that fuel, your motivational engine is really gonna stall out, for lack of better words. Now, the second reason is also perfectionism. We've touched on it a little bit here, but... Always waiting for that perfect moment to feel good, to look good, to be ready to take action, for our calendars to be clean and our kids to be acting perfectly. And we're just waiting to be in the perfect headspace. But what we know about perfectionism, and y'all, we've talked about this here, is that perfectionism is just procrastination dressed up, right? It kills your progress. It kills momentum. And that kills your motivation. And then when I really think about what else kills motivation, it's also all of this social media pressure that we see every day. Now. I don't know about you, but I'm in it every day, right? And maybe that's a habit I should break, but it is part of my job. But we scroll and we scroll and we scroll and we see all of these highlight reels. We see... Everyone looking energized and focused and happy and joyful. And we compare how we feel and what we're doing. And y'all, we have the full picture of our life and we tend to focus on the nasty parts of it. So we're looking at our dumpster fires and we're comparing that to everyone else's highlight reel. And y'all, that ain't fair. And it's also not real if you catch my drift, right? So I want to say this very plain, very simple, very clearly. You're not unmotivated. It really could be that you don't have the support you need. And that's where everything changes, right? So for me, when I feel like a total trash panda, just a slug, which trust me, I have a lot of those days, y'all. I come back to these three things. And these are my three go-to moves for when I do feel like doing absolutely nothing. The first one is to actually name that and to normalize it. And this is something I struggle with. I'm being really honest with you. I struggle with sitting still and not doing things. So I will literally say to myself and to anyone who I'm meeting with, I don't feel like doing a lot today. I just, I don't have the energy. I'm not feeling motivated. And I try really hard not to judge it, but just to notice it, right? Because that act alone really helps break apart the shame spiral that I tend to find myself on in this guilt spiral. Do you know what I mean? The second thing I do is I reset with a micro action. So this is what I call like my five minute rule, or sometimes it's my 20 minute rule, whatever works. But I will pick one tiny task, whether that is answering one email that I've been putting off or folding the laundry or going for a walk outside. Maybe it's just stretching, but I pick that one tiny thing and I do it. And here's what's great about this step, right? Science actually backs this up. And it says that action creates progress. That triggers the dopamine and that dopamine, it fuels more action. That is the cycle. So it really is about getting started. And that's why I start with something small or something that I know I really want to do that's going to help me that I also know gets in with my, all of my neurotransmitters and my chemicals. And sometimes that really is the walking and the working out. But the third thing that I do, and this is the biggest one for me, is I reprioritize with the utmost honesty and. I write out everything that actually has to get done that day. And everything else, I don't worry about it. I really don't. So I make sure that I write out what actually needs to get done, not what I want to get done, not what looks impressive, not what social media expects, just what will really move the needle for me. And sometimes, y'all, that's rest. Sometimes that is doing nothing. Sometimes it is just. Sitting in my comfiest chair, watching love is blind, right? No numbing out, no guilt scrolling, just true rest. And so I want to make this tactical for you, right? I want you to be able that if you're really feeling like I ain't got no motivation today, this week is a struggle. I want you to try these things. And the first is what I call the when I, then I rule. And this is borrowed from behavioral psychology. So again, this works. This is rooted in science and research. And so again, the when I, then I. When I do X, then I will do Y. And it's basically triggering that reward system. So when I finish this presentation, then I'll take a walk. Or when I answer these three emails, then I'll grab my favorite coffee. And it kind of creates that mini reward system that reinforces and it moves you towards motivation, towards motion, towards action. Then, of course, just simply SMART goals, right? Specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. All of those vague things that you have, like start a podcast or write my book, it's vague. It doesn't really set a clear destination, and clear goals create traction. So instead of saying something like, I want to get ahead in my email, say, I want to go through the first 10 emails that I have and respond to them and clear them out of my inbox, right? The specificity in it is key. And then the third thing that you can do, right, after the when I, then I, and then SMART goals is simply to optimize your environment. And honestly, this can sometimes be the first thing that I do, and that's just to create the space, create the room. So maybe you are lighting a candle or putting on your favorite playlist, opening the window to get some fresh air in there, right? Science shows motivation is deeply, influenced by our surroundings. So if you are sitting in an office that is just dirty and cluttered and disorganized, you're not going to feel motivated. So clear that clutter out. Literally every Sunday, I'll go up into my office, which is also the playroom for my kids, so it does get trashed quite frequently. And Sunday evenings and afternoons, I make sure that office is looking good so that when I come in on Monday morning, I am ready to go. Because, just having your space, like your physical space in the right, you know, order will really shift your state of mind. So bonus tools have motivational things in that space, right? I have my vision boards up. I have quotes that really remind me why I'm doing what I'm doing and to stay grounded. And I even have some artwork, right, that I put up around me that reminds me why I'm doing the work that I do. So find a motivational quote, throw it up there. Mine is the pressure is always a privilege. And that's what I have on my wall. And I look at it every time where I'm feeling I don't have any motivation. I have nothing to do. So I just ground myself in that. But to wrap this all up, to put it in a nice little bow for you. I really want you to know and understand that motivation is not a character flaw. It's not something that you either have or you don't have. It's something that comes and it goes, right? It's a skill, a system, a science. And you can learn how to work with it instead of fighting against yourself. So today. If you're feeling less than stellar, if you're not feeling like you wanna do anything, instead of asking, why don't I feel motivated? Instead of giving yourself a hard time about it, I want you to just ask yourself, what's the smallest action that I can take today, right now, that's gonna help me create momentum? That's it. That's the secret. That's how you go from being stuck to getting shit done. And you know what? Like, I just have to tell you, if you're tired of doing this alone, accountability is huge. I meet with my own accountability group every single Monday for an hour, and we go over our goals, and we talk about being stuck, and all of those things. And the community and the accountability is really what drives me forward. And truthfully, that's why I created Her Collective, right? That is the online digital membership that was built for women just like you. Women who are ambitious, but exhausted, driven, but depleted. Women who are ready to stop over-functioning and start aligning. We build systems, we build support, and we build each other up. So listen, DM me, or just email me, and you know, I'll send you all the details. You're not behind. You're not broken. You're just one small action away from being back in motion. So until next time, I want you to go be brave, go be kind, go do your thing. I am cheering you on every step of the way. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors. If this episode lit a fire under you, go ahead and hit that five-star review. It's how we get this message into the hands of the woman who needs to hear it most. And please, don't stop there. Let's keep this conversation going. Find me on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and TikTok for daily doses of inspiration, free resources, and all the tools that you need to keep smashing those ceilings.