Stop the "Head Down, Work Hard" Trap with Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

What happens when the "pinnacle" of your career suddenly disappears?

In this powerhouse episode of Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors, Erica Rooney connects with Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer, a former Chief People Officer and author of the groundbreaking book Now Near Next. Cynthia reveals the "quiet but costly" mistake high-achieving women make: doing excellent work today without a clear plan for tomorrow.

They discuss the "restlessness" that plagues mid-career women and how Cynthia’s own "encore career" was fast-tracked when her C-suite position was eliminated—proving that even at the top, the floor can shift.

Inside the Episode:

• The Restless Reality: Why mid-career women (from ages 28 to 60) often feel bored or stagnant despite their success, and why this is actually a call for self-actualization.
• The Serendipity Trap: Research shows women often attribute their success to "right place, right time" rather than intentional planning. Cynthia explains why we need to "steal a page from the men’s playbook" and advocate for our own human capital.
• The "Now Near Next" Framework: * Now: Energizing your self-agency today.
  1. Near: The "two-thirds" phase where you chip away at goals in the margins of a busy life.
  2. Next: The "one-third" accelerator phase where you hit the gas on your aspirational goals.
• The Seven-Minute Pivot: How spending just 7 minutes a day—a total of 2,555 minutes a year—on your future can build unstoppable momentum.
• The 4 P’s Loop: Cynthia’s "cousin" to Erica’s SNAP method for fighting internal barriers:
  1. Pause: Interrupt the negative spiral.
  2. Protest: Challenge the validity of your self-doubt.
  3. Pivot: Turn toward a positive, productive thought.
  4. Pray: Enlist your higher power for strength.
• Playing the Game vs. Being Played: A candid look at corporate politics and the necessity of being visible and vocal about your aspirations so people can "say your name in rooms you aren't in."

Key Takeaways:

• Mid-Career is a Mindset: It’s not about age; it’s about the decades spent on the "hamster wheel" where life is busy and your own growth often takes a backseat.
• The "Roses" Danger: If your job is going perfectly, that is the exact time you need to be planning your next move. Disrupters are everywhere.
• Letting Go of the Anger: Cynthia shares a raw reflection on her exit from corporate life, advising her past self to let go of the "how" it happened to preserve energy for the "what’s next."

🔗 Resources:

• Buy the Book: Now Near Next: Move from Professional Serendipity to Intentional Advancement on Amazon.
• Free Resource: Download Cynthia’s career blueprint at cynthiabentzenmercer.com.
• Listen More: Check out Cynthia’s podcast, Climbing the Corporate Ladder Without Breaking a Heel.
• Join the Community: Visit JoinHerCollective.com to connect with ambitious women shattering ceilings together.

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Transcript

Erica Rooney

Welcome to glass ceilings and Sticky Floors. The podcast where we get real about the challenges women face in work life and leadership. I'm your host, Erica Rooney. HR executive, keynote speaker and executive coach. And I'm on a mission to get more women into positions of power and keep them there. This is the space where we talk the paradox as you are being told to lean in, but not too far to speak up, but not too loudly.

00:00:25:01 - 00:00:46:20

Erica Rooney

Be ambitious, but not too ambitious. Does that sound familiar? Yeah. We're over all that. Here we break down the sticky floors that keep us stuck from imposter syndrome and perfectionism to burnout and fear and give you real strategies to shatter this glass ceiling, or once and for all. So if you're ready to rewrite the rules, own your power, and take your career and life to the next level.

00:00:46:21 - 00:01:13:11

Erica Rooney

You're in the right place. Now, today's guest is someone I immediately felt a kindred spirit with Cynthia Benson Mercer. She's got a PhD, y'all, and she is the author of the new book. Here we go. It's called Now Near Next, and it's a practical and powerful framework designed to help mid-career women move from professional serendipity to intentional advancement.

00:01:13:13 - 00:01:30:03

Erica Rooney

Now, for those of you who've been with me since the very beginning, you know that this podcast was originally called From Now to Next. And when you dig in to this episode, you're going to find out that our work is so complimentary of each other. So I just know y'all are going to love this. You're going to eat it up.

00:01:30:05 - 00:01:56:04

Erica Rooney

But we recently did a podcast slot. So after today, you're also going to be able to hear me on her incredible show climbing the corporate ladder without breaking a heel. And y'all, I just knew instantly it was a conversation that this audience needed right here. Cynthia's work speaks directly to the quiet but costly problem that so many women are doing excellent work today, right?

00:01:56:04 - 00:02:15:09

Erica Rooney

We are out there. We are grinding, but without a clear path for what's near or what's going to be next. And that's exactly what we're unpacking today. Now, like me, Cynthia is a mom. She's a former chief people officer. And y'all, she's an all around badass. And I am so excited to have her on the show. So, Cynthia, welcome.

00:02:15:09 - 00:02:17:11

Erica Rooney

How are you? It's so good to see you again.

00:02:17:13 - 00:02:27:03

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Oh my goodness, I'm awesome and I'm so excited to be with you. It's fun to turn the tables a little bit today and, and, continue the conversation.

00:02:27:05 - 00:02:47:16

Erica Rooney

I know, and I love that people can just, like, listen here and then be bop over to your show. Listen there. They're going to get both sides of the coin right there. That nobody could ever put. I'm going to start with the same question that you asked me, which is why this book? Why now? Tell me all the good.

00:02:47:22 - 00:02:48:21

Erica Rooney

Yeah.

00:02:48:23 - 00:03:12:05

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

So I'll keep it brief. But the bottom line was a couple of years ago, I was working a very big job, as as you can relate, I was the chief administrative officer of a very large health system, and HR was a big core responsibility. But I had also reached a level where I had other departments and responsibilities, and we were going through a CEO change, and I and I knew that was happening.

00:03:12:05 - 00:03:37:20

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

As the chief people officer, chief human Resources officer, I had been stewarding the succession plan for over a decade. There was a date certain when the when the person that hired me, my boss, the CEO, was going to be exiting. But I was beginning to feel a little restless and a little uncertain about what the future was going to look like and where I was going to fit into that new kind of master puzzle of people.

00:03:37:22 - 00:03:57:09

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And so work was fulfilling in terms of my team, my job, etc. there was this sort of question mark about leadership, but it was at that time I felt really called to finally write the book that I had been envisioning for a couple of decades. I always knew I wanted to write a book. I always knew it would be focused on women.

00:03:57:11 - 00:04:24:08

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

But suddenly it was like, this is the time I needed to feed that intellectual curiosity that I wasn't quite getting stimulated at work. And so I did research, and we'll get into that. But the bottom line is this just as my manuscript was going into editing, my position was eliminated as part of the change of control. And here's the big lesson in all of that.

00:04:24:08 - 00:04:58:11

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

When I started writing the book with my thought partner Kimberly Roth, with, we've researched women around the world, and the single thing we found is that women, regardless of race, ethnicity, age, industry, etc., feel restless at some point in their career. And for me, many times and what we found was it was because they didn't feel safe, actualized, they had more to do, more to give, etc. so drinking my own champagne when I wrote the book, it was all about start working on your future today.

00:04:58:11 - 00:05:22:17

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And so I did that. I, I drank my own champagne, I got my coaching certification, I wrote the book. I started to build and envision what my encore career would look like 3 to 5 years from now. In that moment, nine months in, when my job was eliminated, had I not studied these women, had I not found this research?

00:05:22:17 - 00:05:44:20

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Had I not written this book, I would have been like all of the women we'd studied. And I would have thought, I have one option at 55 years old at that point, I got to go find another C-suite job. I'm in. I'm a single woman empty nester, which means I'm going to have to move all by myself re establish myself.

00:05:44:22 - 00:06:06:02

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

It sounded exhausting. The saving grace was I had a plan. I had a plan because I had been working on my future in that moment, still doing my day job with excellence, but working on my future. So fast forward my encore career that was supposed to be 3 to 5 years from now. I chose to accelerate it. And here we are.

00:06:06:04 - 00:06:34:07

Erica Rooney

It's here today. It's here. Can I just tell you the word restless resonated so deeply with me? Cynthia. It resonated so deeply and in my corporate career, I have felt restless many times too. But I've never been able to name that. And as soon as you said it, I was like, oh my God, that's it. And you know, my story was I was as a chief people officer in tech at the height of my career.

00:06:34:09 - 00:06:54:19

Erica Rooney

And it was like, But I'm bored. Like, this is all there is. What am I supposed to do? And that's kind of what helped me start my encore career, which Lord knows, I never even even anticipated to start. But I love it because it's an emotion that we can all identify with. But I also want to point out, I love how bougie you are.

00:06:54:19 - 00:06:59:17

Erica Rooney

You don't drink Kool-Aid, we drink champagne. Oh hell yeah.

00:06:59:18 - 00:07:01:08

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

No, I love that.

00:07:01:08 - 00:07:15:21

Erica Rooney

But yeah, talk to me a little bit more about this self-actualization, because I think that is such a key piece, and I want to hear from you in your words, like, what does that mean? And what are the women who are listening really need to take away from that?

00:07:15:23 - 00:07:36:13

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yeah. So you spoke to it in, in naming it as restless. Right. And for some for, for a woman listening, it might feel like stuck or stagnant. I know you talk about being stuck a lot in some of your thought leadership, which we share. It's, it is that notion that when you really unpack it, why am I bored?

00:07:36:15 - 00:08:06:03

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

You use the word bored, why am I bored? When you start to go deeper, there's something more for you to do. You've graduated and. And when I left. Not necessarily on my own timing. And I'm not gonna lie, that was not easy at first, right? I saw it coming. Oh. Yeah, I had two conversations with I initiated with the the new CEO saying, I'm feeling like this isn't working.

00:08:06:05 - 00:08:27:14

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

What do we need to do? Because in my mind, if I'm being honest, Erica, I was restless, I was bored, but but I'm like, I can do this for three more years. I can do this for three more years. I love my team. I love the culture of the organization. And that was going to get me to like 58.

00:08:27:14 - 00:08:46:07

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And I thought, you know, early retirement at 58. But it wasn't really retirement was moving on my own car. I'm like, I could do that. But the reason I wrote the book is because I was restless, I was bored, I wasn't getting enough stimulation. So for me, why don't we think about self-actualization? It's it's at the core. I have more to offer.

00:08:46:09 - 00:09:16:10

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

I have more value to add. I have more to give. I have more to learn. I have more to contribute. If you're feeling like this particular role in this moment is not allowing me to live into my big, beautiful, badass potential, that's the feeling, that's that stuck feeling. Oh my God. And and so often we leave it in the lab laps or hands of our leader or the organization.

00:09:16:14 - 00:09:30:02

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Right? Yes. Too often we, you know, the woman listening may relate to this is we're like, well, I've been working hard. I'm I'm doing all the things. Don't know why I haven't been promoted.

00:09:30:04 - 00:09:48:23

Erica Rooney

We're going to take a little bit of a left turn here because as you know, we're both HR professionals here. And so we thrive in that people's space. But the one thing that is always really irked me is when people would come to me and they're like, well, what's my professional growth plan? What's like, how do I climb the ladder here?

00:09:48:23 - 00:10:08:14

Erica Rooney

And I'm like, I can't write that for you. Like, yeah, I could outline if you're, an associate PM, you can become a junior PM and then you become a part. I could do that for you, but you need to tell me what you're passionate about. You need to advocate for your skills. Yeah. And then we can figure out what those steps are.

00:10:08:14 - 00:10:23:19

Erica Rooney

But I think there's so many. And this is not just limited to women, but people who put the expectations on the leader or the organization to lay that path out. And if you do that, you're going to find yourself on a path like you did where they're like, you know, what was the path you write on at the door?

00:10:23:23 - 00:10:56:09

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Exactly. Well, and I would add to that, just based on our research, that women leave their agency in other people's hands statistically more than everyone else. Right. So I agree 100% with what you said. It is your job to invest in your career path. It is your job to invest in your human capital. I the the the research that that that we have and that I've studied is men are a lot more willing to put their hand in the air.

00:10:56:09 - 00:11:16:14

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Right? Men are a lot more willing to sit down with Erica. The CPO, and say, okay, well, I've been a director for nine months. I'm all I get to be. And when do I get to be a Venus project? Right? I mean, and and here's the thing, by the way, for the man who may be listening is that is not an indictment of men.

00:11:16:16 - 00:11:48:05

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

What I say all the time is we need to seal a page out of their playbook, ladies, because here's here's the conditioning. Women are taught to put your head down, work hard, and wait to get tapped right. And that's a convenient path, because if you're raising kids or you're investing in your church or your community or your significant other, or your spouse, it's like, okay, I'll just put my head down and work hard that I can do right and keep all the other plates spinning.

00:11:48:05 - 00:12:13:01

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

But the reality is that's not how corporate works. That's not how business works. And so you wonder why, you know, I use the merry go round. We get on the merry go round and pick the zebra right. And we put our head down as we're dutifully taught and we go round and round and round in about 3 to 4 years later, when we're feeling restless, stuck, stagnant, we look up and all the riders have changed, and we're still going in circles on that same doggone merry go round.

00:12:13:03 - 00:12:33:16

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

You need a bigger playground. So yes, you have to have agency over your own career. And that's why my through line, the through line of now near next is start working on your future today, not tomorrow, not when the kids go off to school. Not when they graduate college. Not when the partner gets their perfect job right? We can.

00:12:33:18 - 00:12:40:13

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

We can pour into everyone else and put it off. Start working on your future today while doing your day job with excellence.

00:12:40:15 - 00:13:03:21

Erica Rooney

Yes, and I would just like a little caveat that if you really do love the organization you're working for and you want to remain there, do this in tandem with your people leader, with your HR partner. Because I've also seen so many women who keep quiet about the things that they're doing, and they keep quiet about the certifications they're getting or they're training that they're taking, or just their dreams and aspirations.

00:13:03:23 - 00:13:26:10

Erica Rooney

And then, you know, let's say something like a position opens up and Bob over here, who's been vocal about it the whole time, gets tapped and you don't. And then they're frustrated or I've seen women and I actually just saw a Facebook post in probably like the Peloton Working Moms group or something, and it was this poor woman who had done all of this work over the span of like six months.

00:13:26:12 - 00:13:45:20

Erica Rooney

And she said, I was really doing this in the hopes that I would get a promotion or a raise. And then I completed it and all. What more? And I said, well, did you have any conversation with the leadership team about is this even a direction they want to go in? I said, you can never do extra work thinking it's going to lead to a promotion.

00:13:45:20 - 00:13:54:15

Erica Rooney

I was like, you need to have those strategic conversations. You need to be vocal about it and you need to be visible. None of this like I'm doing it quietly in the background.

00:13:54:16 - 00:14:18:07

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

B.S. well, and again, it gets back. Absolutely. It gets back to how we have been conditioned, which is getting back to put your head down, work hard and I'll get tapped. And so we have this false expectation. Somebody was talking to you not that long ago. They shared this this context with me and it resonated deeply. Think about as a little girl.

00:14:18:08 - 00:14:38:11

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Now I'm going to generalize for a moment. But as little girls and little boys, right. Little girls, you know, sit still, legs crossed, you know, work hard, do your things. Don't be disruptive. And for the most part, my daughter not one of them, but for the most part, they followed it. Right. She's my creative. And you get the gold stars, right?

00:14:38:15 - 00:15:06:18

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Little boys. But they're on spit lines. They're wiggly in their chairs. They're cracking jokes. They're, you know, all the things. And and then we we begin to mature and we become young ladies and gentlemen. And the gentlemen began to mature and channel that energy. But they're still outspoken. They put their aspirations into the universe. They're they're really formed to, to ask for what they want and to be confident.

00:15:06:20 - 00:15:26:14

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And little girls, women now have this conditioning that if I sit still and I'm quiet and I do my work and I work really hard, the gold stars will come. Well guess what? People are not mind readers. Your leader is not a mind reader. So to your point, one of the chapters in the book we talked about put your aspirations into the universe.

00:15:26:16 - 00:15:46:09

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yeah, people cannot say your name in rhymes. You're not in. If they don't know you're interested. I can't tell you how many women, when I was in corporate America, that would reach out to me and say, hey, would you? I've been following your career and you're a mom and you're a this and you're a that I just love.

00:15:46:09 - 00:15:53:17

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Would you be willing to have coffee with me? I'd love to hear. How how do you do it? All right. And I'm like, It looks it looks a lot.

00:15:53:17 - 00:15:54:20

Erica Rooney

Better on the outside.

00:15:54:20 - 00:16:18:11

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Than it is on the inside. Right. But I go to coffee and do you know, Erica, that it would be three months later? I'd be sitting in some executive meeting and they'd be talking about a committee they wanted to form. And this is the kind of talent they need. And I'm like, you know, I, I just had I just had coffee with this gal Esther, like three months ago for exactly what she wants to do.

00:16:18:12 - 00:16:28:20

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

We should tap her. Had she and I not had coffee, had she not reached up her agency to reach out to me, that would have never happened.

00:16:28:22 - 00:16:49:15

Erica Rooney

I know I love it, the power of just speaking it out into the universe is something I believe deeply in. And that lesson really hit true for me. When I was starting my business while I was still in corporate, and it was this, I think it was an Instagram reel, and it was like, you don't got a business if you can't talk about your business.

00:16:49:15 - 00:17:11:08

Erica Rooney

And I was like, oh gosh, that is me, because I was hiding behind the visibility and I was building it, which in turn just shields everything else from all the very cool things that I was doing. But with that being said, Cynthia, I want to dive into this beautiful, beautiful piece of art right here, now here. For those of you listening, first of all, it's gorgeous.

00:17:11:10 - 00:17:42:16

Erica Rooney

Second of all, y'all, the layout is incredible. I love the graphics that she has in here. I love the takeaways at the end of every chapter. So it's really it's a great resource and it is one that I would encourage you to buy so that you have it in your hands, because I've already dog eared, I don't know, half the pages, and I'm only three quarters of the way through yourself, but I want okay, so what I love about it is it's very clearly separated it into three sections, right?

00:17:42:18 - 00:18:05:14

Erica Rooney

Section one is the now which I'm going to read this to you all so I don't mess it up, which is all about energizing your self agency. We've kind of talked about that section to you. Y'all know it. It's all about the near which is in igniting intentionality. And then section three is about actualizing your potential. Since we already kind of talked about self agency, I want to talk about igniting intentionality.

00:18:05:16 - 00:18:27:15

Erica Rooney

And you talk about charting your now and your next. And I think first let's let's explain to the people like what is near and next to me. And like this is for that mid-career woman. And what I love that you said is you're like, I got divorced, had breast cancer, was the chief people officer, all of us. And I was a mid-career woman.

00:18:27:15 - 00:18:35:20

Erica Rooney

So, y'all, if you're sitting in this C-suite, you're thinking, this ain't for me. You're wrong. It's for you. But all that being said, Doctor Cynthia.

00:18:36:00 - 00:18:36:08

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yeah, what.

00:18:36:09 - 00:18:39:16

Erica Rooney

Is for the near and the next? What is that.

00:18:39:18 - 00:19:00:07

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

I want to so I, so I want to start by defining what we mean by mid-career. Because what one of the things we found post the book coming out right when we're on stages and we're promoting the book and we're so on and so forth, is what it meant to us and Kimberly and I and what some people thought it meant were two different things.

00:19:00:07 - 00:19:25:17

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

So let me clarify that. First, mid-career has zero to do with age, which is where people initially go. They think, oh, that means middle age, right? This is for women 28 ish to 60, because women are staying in the workforce a lot longer. So this is for a lot for decades, right, of women or for generations of women, number one.

00:19:25:22 - 00:19:51:10

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Number two, it's not status oriented. It isn't mid manager. It's you could be early, early in career and you could be, a C-suite person. It covers mid-career for us. Are those decades just past past where you've got that hunger and the fire in your belly and you're sort of like, whatever it takes, and you're probably five, six, eight years.

00:19:51:10 - 00:20:18:21

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And it's different for every woman. Between that and your encore, which is a really long time for some of us, that's 30 years, 35 years, right? It's that big, long amount of time where we get into, the hamster wheel, right? We get into life is busy. I've got all these conflicting things going on, all these things that need my attention.

00:20:18:21 - 00:20:23:06

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And so you're doing work, but you're also doing 97,000 other things, right?

00:20:23:08 - 00:20:25:06

Erica Rooney

All the long time, all.

00:20:25:06 - 00:20:43:18

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Just while you're doing life. And it's busy and it's the hamster wheel part. So, you know, that could be 30 years for somebody that we consider mid-career. So I think that's a really important clarification. One of the things, again, that we found in our research is that women were not intentional. They just were not intentional in their career planning.

00:20:43:18 - 00:21:10:04

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

They likened their succession. And mind you, we studied five race ethnicities across four countries, an age span of 20 years, multi industry, all of these women, highly successful DPS and above. So these are women that have achieved great success, highly diverse. What the universal commonality was. They had not been planful and intentional. That word is so important about their career.

00:21:10:09 - 00:21:35:17

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

They likened it to serendipity. Right place, right time. Great leader. I just worked hard. Now listen, all those things can also have a factor, right? I, if I'm being completely honest, was not nearly as intentional as in hindsight. I wish I had been and I reached a wonderful level of success and and had a fabulous business career.

00:21:35:18 - 00:21:37:08

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

I was a lucky one.

00:21:37:10 - 00:21:56:16

Erica Rooney

To say this is a look back. You know, I'm like, this is all the things we would have, could have, should have done 100%. This would have been. Yes. But the same thing for me, Cynthia, like, I was a little bit intentional, but there was a lot of serendipity, a lot of luck. So I'm right. I'm intrigued to year.

00:21:56:18 - 00:22:23:04

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yeah. And and and and we are in some cases and it's not lost on me a bit of the anomaly because when we studied women, what we found is that was a very small microcosm of the universe and, and comes from that because we're not intentional, we grow restless, stuck, stagnant, etc., right? Because we're not self-actualized. So our solution is intentionality.

00:22:23:04 - 00:22:47:18

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

So the solution is start intentionally working on your future today. Again the through line. So where does how does that line up and down here. Next the philosophy is that you need to today don't put it off today. Begin to think about what is my aspirational next. Now, you may need more than today to figure that out. For some of you.

00:22:47:18 - 00:23:05:22

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

You know immediately I want to be a vice president. I want to be I want to leave this company and go to another company. It could be any number of things. Keep in mind that you're aspirational. Next doesn't necessarily mean a job change. It could mean I want to finish my degree. It could mean I want to get a certification.

00:23:05:22 - 00:23:41:15

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

It could mean I want to serve on a board. And what is your aspirational thing that is going to fill your cup, give you intrinsic satisfaction, help you grow, that you really desire to aspire toward? Identify that thing. Name that thing, and then what is the date certain by when you want that to happen? So I want to finish my MBA by X date, or I want to be promoted to such and such by this, or have a lateral move to expose myself to new things, whatever that is.

00:23:41:17 - 00:23:55:02

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

You pick a date certain, and then what the book walks you through is a framework, a blueprint that says it's a two third, one third scenario. So how many is three years for easy math?

00:23:55:04 - 00:23:56:08

Erica Rooney

Perfect.

00:23:56:10 - 00:23:58:06

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

But for those of us that are not.

00:23:58:11 - 00:24:00:06

Erica Rooney

Not right, that.

00:24:00:08 - 00:24:21:18

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Don't do numbers, right, the math ain't math. And so three years we used for easy math. So from now to near is two thirds. That's two years. So in your blueprint and by the way the blueprint is available for free. You can download the PDF off my website.

00:24:21:20 - 00:24:46:05

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Between now and near, you spend the first two years of your three year journey working on all the little things that you can tick off your list in the context of your life. This is for the woman that says, I got little ones at home. I'm working. I don't have a moment to myself. My thing, the seven minute pivot, seven minutes a day, seven minutes a day, guys.

00:24:46:05 - 00:25:10:15

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

You'll have, let's see, I did the math one time, 2555 minutes in a year. If you spend only seven minutes a day focusing on your next like, everybody can find seven minutes. The point is, you get you get two thirds of the time to really chip away. For me, it was I'm going to work on getting my, board certified certification for coaching.

00:25:10:17 - 00:25:27:06

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And so that was something I could kind of do in the margins and chip away and have that. I was going to start to research what it would mean to own my own business, do a little bit of reading about that. Right. Chip away at that. So it's things that you can do that fill in the flow of your natural time.

00:25:27:07 - 00:25:48:09

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And then the last third, the near to next is when you hit the accelerator. And that is the last third of that timeline. Now your timeline could be nine months. It could be six months and three months for somebody who's unemployed. Right now, it might be three months. I'm going to do two months, and then one month I'm going to hit, you know, hit the gas.

00:25:48:11 - 00:26:13:16

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

The the goal here was do something momentum. It's all about energy and momentum because we tend to put it off and then we stay stuck. The other thing I'll say is for the woman that's listening that says this or you know, this is great, but I love my boss, I love the culture. I love everything about my job.

00:26:13:18 - 00:26:17:19

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

It's roses right now.

00:26:17:21 - 00:26:19:03

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

So did I.

00:26:19:05 - 00:26:26:08

Erica Rooney

I was a girl. You see me picking up my bubbly? Just waiting for that shoe to drop. That didn't matter. High heels come crashing.

00:26:26:08 - 00:26:27:22

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Down because people.

00:26:27:22 - 00:26:30:18

Erica Rooney

Officers, we know the best laid plans.

00:26:30:20 - 00:26:49:19

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yeah, exactly what happened. That's right. I'll never forget talking to my financial planner and saying, oh my gosh, I love our CEO and I love the culture, and I want to retire from here. Like I'm gonna retire from here. And him saying to me, you know. So yeah, I love that for you. But things don't always stay the same.

00:26:49:21 - 00:27:03:06

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

You know, there could be a change in leadership. There could be this, there could be that, a lot of consolidation in the health care industry, you know, anything could happen. And me thinking, what a pessimist. What a glass half empty kind of guy.

00:27:03:07 - 00:27:11:01

Erica Rooney

You know, I mean, like, in my head, I'd be like, well, I've never been laid off before. Why would it happen to me now? At the height of my career, 1,000%.

00:27:11:06 - 00:27:35:22

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

I was at the pinnacle of my career. I never had a career setback. Ever. I had never fallen off that horse. It just. It would. It just did not seem probable. And I'm not even saying that it could be. Sadly, you go through a relationship breakup, you, your significant other. Oh, our spouse is relocated. And so that becomes a disruption.

00:27:36:00 - 00:27:42:17

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

You change your mind to decide you want to start having kids. I mean, so many things in life change. So rapidly.

00:27:42:18 - 00:27:44:01

Erica Rooney

Disrupters everywhere.

00:27:44:01 - 00:28:03:15

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Everywhere. So for the woman listening that says, oh my gosh, everything's coming up roses. All the more reason you need to start working on your future today. It's obvious for the person that feels stuck, and it's even more obvious for the person that's currently unemployed, right? Those individuals are like, yeah, bring it on. Where's this? Where's this playbook?

00:28:03:17 - 00:28:37:06

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

The people I worry about are the people that are content and not thinking about it and not putting a plan together, because had that been me, had that been me, I would God knows where I'd be living away from my grandchildren, doing the corporate grind at the hour. 58 years old, living in some city where I'm trying to make new friends as a single empty nester, I mean nothing about that sounds and sounds fun.

00:28:37:08 - 00:28:59:23

Erica Rooney

Now. And I mean, that's one of the things I talk about so often with women is that in today's world, you've got to have a backup plan. But instead of it being like this backup plan, have that just be call it your next chapter plan or your near plan. Your next plan because you know, life throws curveballs at you all the time and you never know what's going to happen.

00:28:59:23 - 00:29:28:01

Erica Rooney

Like, I would have never predicted that I would be a business owner. Sam, 20 years ago. That was never on my bingo card of life, ever. But here I am. And you know, my situation was I was at a very stable company making extremely good money, but there was a big values conflict. And every day I was going to work, I was stressed out, I had anxiety, it was making me drink more like my life was not going in the right direction.

00:29:28:03 - 00:29:50:16

Erica Rooney

And when I look at like this linear plan that we all think we have to have, like the next possible growth step for me, since I already was a chief people officer, making well over six figures would just be another chief people officer job at a larger company with more employees and more problems and more bullshit. And it was like, I don't want to be on that, that merry go round.

00:29:50:18 - 00:29:51:12

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

That's right.

00:29:51:14 - 00:30:08:13

Erica Rooney

And so you've got to be thinking ahead. And so that's what I think is so powerful about this book. I just want to ask you one question, though, because you have got I want you to explain this to the listeners. You've got this beautiful diagram in here, and I'm gonna put it right up to the camera. It's the four piece, right.

00:30:08:13 - 00:30:27:23

Erica Rooney

And you have all of the steps here, right? You've got to pause and interrupt your thoughts. You've got to protest and challenge the validity. You've got to pivot, which we know is a step I love. And then you've got to pray, which is all about enlisting your higher power. Can you tell me what this £0.04 loop is?

00:30:27:23 - 00:30:28:12

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yes.

00:30:28:12 - 00:30:30:12

Erica Rooney

And why it's so powerful.

00:30:30:14 - 00:30:39:07

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

So it's very much like snap, right. It it's it's a can. It's a, it's a kindred spirit. You know, they're in the same family.

00:30:39:07 - 00:30:39:17

Erica Rooney

Doesn't have.

00:30:39:18 - 00:31:11:18

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Snap. It's her cousin. They they are they are cousins. One of the things like, you know, is I realized early on I didn't I didn't claim it as sticky floors, but I love I love the way you talk about sticky floors and that those are so often those internal barriers that we that we our own self limitations. And for me, it was when you when the boss walks by and says, hey Erica, do you have a minute?

00:31:11:18 - 00:31:20:18

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

I'd like to chat. And your mind goes to, oh my gosh, did he find out about such and such? I thought, yeah.

00:31:20:19 - 00:31:21:05

Erica Rooney

I thought.

00:31:21:05 - 00:31:37:04

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

That was facts. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. Oh my gosh. I'm probably going to go in there and he's going to be really upset. And oh my gosh, I'm gonna get fired. And if I get fired then I can't pay my mortgage and then I'm going to end up homeless. Right? We go down this this crazy train.

00:31:37:06 - 00:32:03:11

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

So the format similar to snap is pause, interrupt the thought, recognize it? What I love about your framework is you talk about feel the feels. You talk about that human physical reaction. And I think that that's so powerful. This this is more from a human psychology peer perspective, which is just like, acknowledge that, hey, maybe I'm going down a rabbit hole here.

00:32:03:13 - 00:32:25:04

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

So, so pause protests for thought again. Is is this really happening? Ask the questions. Do I have evidence that I'm in trouble? Maybe he wants to promote me right. So so protest it. Pivot to a positive thought of, you know, if it's that I'm going to own it. We're going to work through it. It's going to be fine.

00:32:25:08 - 00:32:49:03

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

You know what? But it could be something completely different that's really positive. And then I say with whatever your, familiar calling is to, to pray, whatever that means to you, to to call upon whatever power that means to you, to just give you sort of the words and the strength and the and the affirmation to show up.

00:32:49:05 - 00:33:23:09

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And we share the, the knowledge and the and the psychology background, which is, you know, thoughts create behaviors and behaviors create actions. And I know for certain, as do when we allow that negative self-talk to take over our body language changes, our tone changes, how we show up, the words we choose. We're not the same person. If we walk in thinking we're going to be homeless, that if we walk in, go and maybe I'm getting promoted, right, you show up a little differently, a different vibe.

00:33:23:13 - 00:33:40:12

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yeah. Yeah. But but for me it was it was something I've actually used throughout my career for my own. And I use it. I use it in personal situations. And, you know, if my son doesn't answer right away and he lives on the East Coast, you know, and I've got him, you know, in a car accident, you know, it's like, okay, sit there.

00:33:40:14 - 00:33:46:06

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Maybe it's phones off, or maybe, maybe he's at the gym, like, really, you know, 100%.

00:33:46:06 - 00:34:06:18

Erica Rooney

Well, I love the protest piece and this is why. And I'm just going to insert my little plug here, that there is no competition between women in this space. Because when one of us exceeds, all of us succeed. Right. And you could take the snap method and you can marry it with these four P's, and it could be the perfect thing that works for you.

00:34:06:18 - 00:34:21:19

Erica Rooney

But I love protest because it's a little more direct than my step about. Ask and answer the questions about why you feel this way. Like that's more flashy. This one's more like, hey, you know, that's some bullshit. Don't believe that. That's okay. Get down with that.

00:34:21:19 - 00:34:23:19

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Cynthia, I love it.

00:34:23:21 - 00:34:44:01

Erica Rooney

It's so great when you think of the sticky floors, though, that you went through. I know you talk about imposter syndrome in the book. Like, what were some of those sticky floors that either you had to work through or the ones you're still working through, or maybe ones that surprised you as you went into your encore career?

00:34:44:03 - 00:35:15:02

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Yeah, I think, you know, I had probably a, at an earned level of confidence, I don't know, and I've started calling it, by the way, I started calling it imposter Phenomenon. I interviewed, Anna Blue, on my pod recently, and she's done a lot of deep work around imposter syndrome. And, you know, we think about syndrome and it's mental illness.

00:35:15:02 - 00:35:48:00

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And, you know, DSPs have syndromes versus it's a syndrome. It's it's a phenomenon. It's these circumstances, these systemic things that create this phenomenon that then we somewhat internalized. So kind of taken that on, I've been really fascinated by the sort of changing my mindset around that. So I have some of that. But, you know, for me, it was more the things around not quite understanding that the rules of the game were different for men and women.

00:35:48:02 - 00:36:17:00

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

So, you know, men could show up a certain way and, you know, argue a point or behave at a party, etc.. And, you know, I wanted to be one of the guys because I wanted to fit in. And so what I realized, I think as I matured was, hey, the rules are different. You can't be the life of the party.

00:36:17:01 - 00:36:49:08

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And if you're a woman, it's a very different stigma. And so figuring out, where's my authenticity in the space and how to, you know, Christy, Rutherford says you're either playing the game or being played, right. There's no, there's there's no people say they don't want to be part of a corporate politics. I'm sorry. She's like, listen, the you got two options.

00:36:49:08 - 00:37:12:01

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

You're there playing the game or you're being played. I'm like, sister that that resonates. And I think I was I think I was trying to figure out how to play the game, but not recognizing the roles were different. And so for me, I think the sticky floor was trying to show up authentically and still play the game.

00:37:12:03 - 00:37:21:11

Erica Rooney

One of the, metaphors or whatever that I always loved is if you're not invited to the table, you're probably on the menu.

00:37:21:13 - 00:37:23:11

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Oh. I'm ready.

00:37:23:13 - 00:37:35:05

Erica Rooney

Oh, God. Oh, my gosh. It should be the last question. Best question. But if you could go back in time to the Cynthia who was maybe.

00:37:35:07 - 00:37:55:22

Erica Rooney

Just gotten hit with those sevens papers. Right. And like, we're exiting you and I don't even know if you got a sevens. I just made that up in my head. But we're exiting you stage left. You know, you're working the long hours. I read this part of your book where I knew you were waking up at 4 a.m. just to write the book so people wouldn't think that you weren't doing your work right.

00:37:56:02 - 00:38:02:10

Erica Rooney

What piece of advice would you give her today? Oh.

00:38:02:12 - 00:38:10:15

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

That is a brilliant. I love the part of you that says not that. Not that I know that you had a severance because you know that if I did, I wouldn't be able to talk about it.

00:38:10:17 - 00:38:12:22

Erica Rooney

There you go. I know, but I just make it up.

00:38:12:23 - 00:38:43:02

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And make are protecting me. That's so funny. Oh, gosh. I think the advice, I think the advice I would give would be. You've got this number one. This is not in any way a reflection of your work ethic, your drive, your performance, even,

00:38:43:04 - 00:39:23:06

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And maybe to let go sooner of the anger, the way it happened, doesn't matter what. And, yeah, it wasn't that it happened. That it happened was an absolute blessing on many, many, many levels. I have never been happier. And I had graduated. It was time. The way it happened was I've never actually spoken about this, but it the way it happened, was really hard for me, and I was angry about that for a very long time.

00:39:23:06 - 00:39:47:00

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

And and that anger can be very consuming. And I and I, and I would have given myself the advice of feel grief, be pissed off, do all the things right, because we're human. But you need to let that go because that is consuming energy that can be placed in so many more positive places.

00:39:47:03 - 00:39:55:11

Erica Rooney

But you could put it in your near, or your next would show me what. Oh, that's a good one, girl. That is a good one.

00:39:55:11 - 00:39:59:08

Dr. Cynthia Bentzen-Mercer

Never been. And so that's that's new insight.

00:39:59:10 - 00:40:17:11

Erica Rooney

I love new insight. Oh my gosh. All right friends if this episode resonated with you I need you to do two things. Number one, I need you to go get this book now near next. You can buy it on Amazon wherever books are sold. There's a lot of amazing resources in here, so make sure you check it out.

00:40:17:13 - 00:40:40:02

Erica Rooney

The other thing is, if it resonated with you, I want you to know about her collective. It's my online community for ambitious women who are ready to stop feeling stuck, stop second guessing themselves, or doing it all alone inside her. Collectively focus on clarity, confidence, and intentional growth. Real conversations, y'all. Real strategies, and women who actually show up and support each other.

00:40:40:02 - 00:40:57:14

Erica Rooney

It's truly magical. Now, if you're ready for your next level without burning yourself out, you belong in that space. You can learn more by checking out Join her collective.com. I can't wait to see you in there. Now let's get out there, take up some space and start shattering some ceilings together.